I can fade into the night

I can fade into the night, very easily.

It is the point when I just don’t care about you, or about things. I have been down the crabby path, and I know what it is like. I have been there, done that, laughed through it all and you haven’t seen my fears, or realised my darkness, or read it through my eyes. My eyes do more talking than my laugh, which smiles and bears it all.

Do you really know me?

I will make time for you. I will do things for you. It is just the way I am. Helpful, to the point of being used. That’s how I feel sometimes. I will agree to meet you, shower my hospitality on you. Have my place calm and inspire you. Just don’t abuse my nicety. When I say ‘no’ you will finally realise, if at all. All promises. All excuses. All hurt. I have waited. After all, my name means ‘patience’.

Really, do you know me?

Is it you ego? Is it your insecurity? Are you human enough? Or are you just a chauvinist who thinks only of yourself. Am I your gilded bird?

When I let go… When will I let go?

Do you know how much it hurts to let you go? You pushed me away. If you don’t want my presence, I will acknowledge your wishes. Can’t; won’t be the golden doormat anymore.

When I let go, I. Let. Go.

I will miss you. Or will I?

Memories fade eventually.

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