Happy Endings.

Sometimes, I watch movies, with my brain left outside the theatre. Leave the analyses and laugh along. The Bollywood flick, Happy Ending, is a film that ensures you do just that. I watched the film, just to see if it really meant ‘happy ending’ and for fodder for the blog. Yes, I am that way sometimes.

What the world interprets of ‘happy ending’, as Indians, we don’t talk of it, or are supposed to know of it! Yet we are a population of 1.2 billion and counting. And we gave you the Kamasutra!

I know of someone with long distance girlfriend, and she attempts at, what urban dictionary would call, booty blocking, but men will be men; and booty blocking or not, they will have a happy ending. Another married one has a long term paramour and gets what he doesn’t get at home. A separated couple does it as a need.

Happy endings are thriving and are of rage. I mean whatever happened to just pure friendships. Now it is all about ‘getting it’ or actually ‘friends with benefits’. And there is also a new word for it, ‘xxxx buddy’, rhymes with duck.

So is it all about getting what you want, when you want it. Is a happy ending the end of desire, or the beginning of happiness? Or is happiness a state of mind. Are happiness and comfort the same? Or are we choosing what we feel and how we want to feel? Are we aware of our feelings? Or are we dependent on physical attributes. Physical versus emotional, where would our happiness lie? Or does happiness lie? What is the truth?

And yes the film has a happy ending, in more ways than one. Leave your brains out…

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Reply to ‘On Beards’

After the post ‘On Beards’, a friend called me and said it was flat. And nothing around me should be flat! He said I should have made it like a 50 shades note. So here goes. The post on Beards was inspired by you, Mr. Shark. I have always seen you clean shaved, and never envisaged of you in a beard. But then women don’t undress men visually. And we are very selective in person too.

So when I saw that pic of you in a beard. I was impressed by what I saw. And you know I’m not impressed easily. That beard, shiny, silky, smooth, straggly to a fault; that hint of a smile, the lips full and pink, like an apple waiting to be eaten; the cheeks strong and rosy like a cherry, reflecting the glow of the sun. All healthy; all international actor quality. That shiny rich fuzz, was unlike my non-existing hair, so it was enchanting. And I wanted to run my fingers through that silken field of trimmed grass, and caress it like a visually challenged person, and play with it, and do all that and more… And this is a ‘safe’ site, so if you want NSFW blogs, read my other one.

Is this enough of a 50 Shades for you?

PS: I have no intention of meeting you at all. We haven’t met in about 8 years, and I surely don’t want to break the spell. You are officially my phone friend. And of course, now I am too chicken to meet you. The Hindi term is more succinct – gxxx fxxxx.

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The body beautiful.

A thing on breasts, I know it is ‘when you have it, flaunt it’; but don’t force it. Cleavages should be subtle. You have a bust – generous or petite – it is evolution, don’t shove it into the limelight. It/they will be noticed anyway. You don’t need a discerning eye to see breasts. Just don’t make them sartorially obvious.

Even babies notice them, and it has been scientifically proved. And babies also try to cop a feel. If the baby’s mom is not endowed, then it is the kid’s way of saying to you ‘what the hell is that’; if their mom is generous, then it is like ‘cool, this feels like home.’ I know of a baby who wouldn’t go to women who were not endowed like his mom. So yes, discrimination begins early. Very early. Mammilla rules!

Celebrating the female form has been commemorated through the ages. India first. Ajanta & Ellora, Khajuraho, Kamasutra of course! Or just go to any temple or ancient sculpture site and view the gravity-defying globes. Art is Beautiful. (Ya Ya I know. I am straight.)

But on the flip side, look at the super models. Not only they are unhealthily skinny, but they are also, what we used to say in college, carom boards, or Man-chester.

While it may be all ‘about that bass, ‘bout that bass’, J. Lo made it popular. Someone called it extra ‘cushion for the pushin’. But Nicki Minaj in Anaconda made it extremely gross. BTW has anyone ‘heard’ the song? I know we have seen it, but anyone remember the tune? Then Kim Kardashian breaks the internet with her butt! I don’t like big butts and I cannot lie. Even if Ross and Rachel’s kid does like them.

I’m glad I have a flat @r$e, even if after the doc gives me an injection it is sore for hours. Or sitting on a hard bench for long the butt hurts. Excuse me, we are princesses like that. Our gluteus maximus and gluteus medius are delicate, while the pectoralis major, glandular and subcutaneous tissue is well… diminishing actually!

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My sartorial sense

My dear fashion designer friend hates polka dots. ‘It’s for children. It is gross on adults.’ Hey, Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn made polka dots iconic. But that is a different story. I like polka dots. It may not justify my age. But like I read somewhere; ‘I can’t act my age, I have never been here before.’ I now need a yellow polka dot outfit to complete my basic polka color collection. And no, it won’t be an ‘itsy bitsy yellow polka dot bikini’. Or could it? No! still not ready for a beach two-piece.

So from my likes to my sartorial dislikes. It is oft touted that heavy women should wear ‘V’ necks. I hate ‘V’ necks. I think it is just rude to force a cleavage to subvert a heavy chest. It is there, everyone will notice it. Most of the heavy women I know look spectacular in wide round necks. For that matter, they look even stunning in cowl necks, contrary to popular opinion.

From necks to sleeves. I dislike drop shoulders that mimic sleeves. Also mutton sleeves, unless you are in a period costume production. And I also don’t like sleeves that mimic mutton sleeves.

Sleeves to dresses. Can’t seem to like kaftan dresses. Also, if the back of a dress has to have a V or open, it better be deep, not a measly one. Deep! Show them backs!

And saree blouses have to be deep at the back. And sarees have to be worn a little below the navel; with the pallu drape just below the calf.

And I can’t wear animal prints, on clothes or shoes or bags.

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On beards

Sometimes I like a man with a beard. As girls, we are conditioned by our dads and my dad was always clean shaven. I had never seen stubble on him. Saw him shave, helped him shave as a kid, but a beard, never.

So sometimes a nice full beard looks good on a man. Makes him look mature, read older. (Though men are never mature at their best, they are still the 11-year-old-boy inside.) A nice full-cheek beard gives a man dignity, and dammit, they look good at any age. And even more so when it is salt-and-pepper. Especially when it is salt-and-pepper!

Other beards are more sophisticated, the French beards for instance. It just helps the face, does not do much to the man, on the whole. To me, they are merely cosmetic, high maintenance and give the air of luxury. And if it is not kept well, it is disgusting. Other varieties on the French beard are pure style. And these fads come and go.

For now, it is the unshaved stubble look that has been on for quite a few seasons. That look is slowly getting to be a tired look. Even if it is a stubble, it has to be kept well. There is maintenance in a scruffy look. As Steven Tyler of Aerosmith once said, “You don’t know how expensive it is to look this cheap.” (He was wearing digs that looked like they came from a flea market in Goa, but they were Galliano!)

Just moustaches are ok. They are for those who want a ‘look.’ They are for those who want to say, ‘look at me!’ Moustaches don’t try hard to make a statement. They are just wannabe’s. One thing I think I haven’t really learnt to appreciate is handle-bar moustaches, and those ’staches that curl outward. And then the men who twirl them when talking to you, is in my exalted humble opinion, just ugghh!

So give me a man with a full beard… That is my latest ‘like’.

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6 things about Clients when you are a Freelancer

  1. They think theirs is the only account you are working on.

And expect you to work on their account 24×7. And I really mean 24 hours. At the payment amount you squeezed me for; I would starve if yours was the only account.

 

  1. They think they are paying you the earth.

Really, for the value I bring to the table, it is still not enough! And why do I succumb to your sob stories. I could write a book on my sob stories.

  1. They expect you to work on their content night and day.

Hello! I need to sleep and eat (and sometimes have a social life), and drive to and fro from your workplace, which you want me to come to, ever so often. I am not your in-office employee. Do you know the time it takes to cover 5 kms in Mumbai, in peak hours? About one and half hours. FYI.

  1. “You operate from your house; that does not cost a lot.”

Again Really! Pay for my house loan, and see how much it costs; pay for my travel, and see how much it costs; pay for my laptop and backup, and see how much that costs! Pay for the air-conditioning, pay for food, and the erratic hours I keep, because ‘I am working from home.’ Really! Live my life. And see if you can juggle all that I do. See if you survive.

  1. “You just have to write, that’s easy.”

Really again! If it was that easy, why don’t you do it!

  1. “You shouldn’t be charging for something that comes to you naturally.”

You are paying me for my experience, you are paying for my expertise; this is the result of education that I put in to be able to write so easily. Talent my dear client, is not something that is easy, it may be natural, but there are years of work put in to be able to look easy. PS: Why don’t you try it yourself!

Then again, there are some client who make all work seem so good!

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Working on the Rocket Principle

Sometimes all of us work on the Rocket Principle, which is ‘unless there is fire up our @r$e we don’t move. So I have been working with this client, actually a good friend, for nearly 9 months, on his marketing strategy, website and social media, and the work-baby is finally delivered. And only because it became critical for it to be launched, the client/friend stepped up gear and got cracking. It was this website that needed to be up in 48 hours, in time for an international event. The content has been ready for nearly 8 months. So finally the website goes live and the appreciation is a blast! And he is shocked and overwhelmed.

So really is it important that you neglect things till the last moment?

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7 PR Campaigns That Changed The World

Interesting ideas from across the world!

 

http://www.spada.co.uk/7-pr-campaigns-that-changed-the-world/

 

7 PR Campaigns That Changed The World

Posted on September 16, 2010 by admin

Whether practiced for people, businesses or non-profit groups, good PR is priceless. But while part and parcel of effective PR is publicity – spreading information to generate public awareness – truly standout campaigns are also about much, much more. Some might even be said to have changed the world. Here are seven – some of them encapsulated in a stunt – that did just that, making (most of) them a PR’s dream.

 

7. Issuing the World’s First Press Release

 

Image via Wikipedia

 

Ivy Lee is considered one of the founders of modern public relations and was the leading competitor of Edward Bernays (below) in the emergent field of PR at the start of the 20th century . In 1906, a railroad accident in New Jersey – the Atlantic City train wreck – saw an electric train derailed and plough off a bridge, drowning 53 people. To deal with the situation, Lee put out what is widely regarded as the first ever press release, persuading operating company, the Pennsylvania Railroad, to disclose the facts of the case directly to reporters – before they could hear them from other sources. At the accident scene, a statement was presented to waiting reporters, and it was Lee’s coup that the New York Times printed it verbatim. It was a landmark in modern crisis communications – and a landmark in PR.

 

6. Convincing the American People to Eat Bacon and Eggs

 

Image via Wikimedia

 

The 1920s’ campaign to convince the public that bacon and eggs was the bona fide all-American breakfast was the brainchild of ‘father of public relations’ Edward Bernays. Influenced by the ideas of his uncle Sigmund Freud, Bernays pioneered the technique of using authority figures to support his clients’ causes. In this case, the opinion formers were physicians. The author of the milestone PR text Crystallizing Public Opinion conducted a survey among doctors and relayed the results – advocating hearty, protein-rich breakfasts – to thousands more physicians. The public, too, were swayed by the campaign, and as folks turned on their frying pans, ‘bacon and eggs’ were married forevermore in the collective consciousness. Bernays truly brought home the bacon, too, when sales went through the roof.

 

5. Overthrowing the Government of Guatemala

 

 

Image via Wikipedia

 

In an example of PR-cum-propaganda, Edward Bernays allegedly masterminded the toppling of Guatemalan President Jacobo Arbenz Guzman in 1954. Working for US-based corporation United Fruits Company – who felt threatened by Arbenz’s land reform proposals – Bernays spread material through the leading US media that marked Guzman as a communist. Bernays’ manipulation of public opinion thus took on a new form – ‘America’s No. 1 Publicist’ using his influence to leverage political forces and maintain United Fruits’ dominance over the government of Guatemala as the country’s largest landowner. Furthering as it did the exploitation of cheap fruit production labour in the interests of US markets, this campaign is less to be lauded for its intentions or methods than for its sheer clout. Viva la Revolución?

 

4. Beatles Playing a Concert on a Rooftop

 

 

Image via Wikimedia

 

U2 may have pulled a similar stunt in 2009, but the Beatles did it first, playing one of the most unforgettable gigs of their career on a rooftop. The London office of Apple Records set the stage for the Fab Four’s unannounced 1969 performance – all the more legendary because it was their last in public. Passersby were awestruck as John, George, Paul and Ringo rocked classics like “I’ve Got a Feeling” and “Get Back” to rapturous applause before the police put a stop to proceedings. But though the show was over, it was immortalised in the 1970 film Let It Be, becoming almost as indelibly imprinted in the public consciousness as the band itself. More than just a photo opportunity, this was the swansong of one of the greatest groups in history – and it was orchestrated by clever PR.

 

3. Playing Tennis on the Burj Al Arab

 

 

Image via Youtube

 

It’s not only musicians who get to enjoy the thrill of skilfully created pieces of PR; sportsmen do too. Who can forget first seeing Andre Agassi and Roger Federer step out to play on the helipad of Dubai’s Burj Al Arab hotel, 321 metres (1,053 feet) up in the air? In an event staged ahead of the Dubai Open in 2005, the two superstars indulged in a knock-about on the dramatically positioned, specially laid court, safe in the knowledge that there was a safety net around the perimeter. The then tallest hotel on earth has since been overshadowed by the tallest building on earth, the Burj Dubai, but at the time this was a mind-blowing spectacle for those who witnessed it that helped take both tennis and Dubai – with the Burj Al Arab its symbol – to new heights in the public eye.

 

2. Homer Simpson Appears Opposite the Cerne Abbas Giant

 

 

Image: Tim Bunce

 

When a massive likeness of Homer Simpson materialised on a Dorset hillside facing the iconic chalk figure of the Cerne Abbas Giant, local neopagans were up in arms about the audacious publicity stunt. The rest of the world, however, sat up, took notice, and smiled. A promotion to mark the opening of 2007’s The Simpsons Movie, Homer was depicted wearing nothing but underpants and wielding a doughnut, in gentle mockery of his more ancient – and ruder – opposite number, a famous symbol of fertility. The giant Homer was outlined in water-based biodegradable paint that would wash away when it rained, so while the pagans exclaimed “D’oh!” and promised to invoke rain magic, no one, not even a hardcore environmentalist, could raise much of an objection to the stunt, ensuring bad publicity was avoided.

 

1. The Best Job in the World

 

 

Image: kevgibbo

 

Dubbed ‘the world’s greatest PR stunt’, Tourism Queensland’s Best Job in the World campaign of 2009 was a masterclass in the power of public relations to spread an upbeat story far and wide. Prompted by global classified ads seeking a caretaker for Australian paradise Hamilton Island, tens of thousands of applicants uploaded videos explaining why they should get the post. The next hook was a reality TV-style whittling-down of the candidates via social media, which heightened the buzz triggered by tapping into young people’s wanderlust. Heaps of priceless free publicity was generated, as myriad media groups worldwide covered the story, largely ignoring the fact that it was a marketing ploy. A 34-year-old ostrich-rider from England won the competition, but this was a triumph for PR – and how to execute it with aplomb.

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Technology – getting people nearer?

So a close friend came over, after almost a month. The conversation over 2 hours

 

Me: Welcome Stranger

Friend:  (on phone texting, says a distracted) Hiiiiii (Still texting… goes to the bathroom… comes out).

Friend: So whaaaaattttssssssuppppp….. (Proceeds to checks his phone.. begins replying)

Me: oh my client is taking my life away…  and I proceed about my client and my grief… for about 2 minutes

Friend: (still texting. Hasn’t heard a word I’ve said. Could never multi-task) So Wasssssuppppp

Me: Looks at Friend with a shocked expression.. Friend misses the point.. Texting remember.. wants to watch a program on TV.. so I tell him I m a bit busy.. and he can proceed watching TV while I complete some deliverables.. Am sure Friend hasn’t heard it, bec phone in hand more important than bird in house.

Friend: (during commercial break) So what’s up with the secrecy.. tell me what u doing.. u r being a bad host.. (checks phone.. responds to phone. Moi? Discarded)

Me: (I start trying to talk of my day… )

Friend: Oh program’s back.. (goes back to TV.. I am forgotten again…  till next commercial break.)

Friend: What’s wrong with you today? Why are you being antisocial? (The program is over by then I guess) I want the Monaco biscuits, I saw in your kitchen.

Me: ok shall I dress them up?

So I spread a light layer of butter, some grated cheese and some finely chopped coriander over it. Place in a dish and get it to Friend. (Who is watching TV or rather texting I was sure, in the other room.) …. And guess what! Friend is fast asleep!

Wakes up to reply to text msg, or whatsapp or BBM or whatever.

I have always cribbed to Friend about being on the phone, but that day was ridiculous!

The next hour is the same, Friend texting on the phone, cribbing that I am being non responsive, all the while continuously on the phone. We eat the biscuits, order dinner, eat dinner, and I wonder if Friend has heard anything I said, through the evening.

Friend: (leaving after dinner, or rather, in between texts) It’s so good to hang out with you.

 

So I wonder if technology enables friendship, virtually or in the physical state.

 

 

 

 

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On forwards

What is with email/SMS/WhatsApp forwards that tell you that your life will improve, or more specifically that ‘God’ will grant your wishes if you forward to xx number of friends, or else.

Isn’t the world is going through enough problems? Aren’t you going through enough issues? If God (if there is one) could see this could it not be rectified? Would he curse you for not forwarding the messages. Is he that petty (yes, I use ‘he’, if god was a ‘she’, such mess would not exist), that your life would be an even more wholesome mess than it is now, from not forwarding? Is he sitting only to smite you for not forwarding? I don’t get it. Why would a so called loving god do that? Why do people believe that a forward would help them? Has it ever?

Well, I think the Universe is magnanimous enough to forgive us. 

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