Posts tagged India

Happy Endings.

Sometimes, I watch movies, with my brain left outside the theatre. Leave the analyses and laugh along. The Bollywood flick, Happy Ending, is a film that ensures you do just that. I watched the film, just to see if it really meant ‘happy ending’ and for fodder for the blog. Yes, I am that way sometimes.

What the world interprets of ‘happy ending’, as Indians, we don’t talk of it, or are supposed to know of it! Yet we are a population of 1.2 billion and counting. And we gave you the Kamasutra!

I know of someone with long distance girlfriend, and she attempts at, what urban dictionary would call, booty blocking, but men will be men; and booty blocking or not, they will have a happy ending. Another married one has a long term paramour and gets what he doesn’t get at home. A separated couple does it as a need.

Happy endings are thriving and are of rage. I mean whatever happened to just pure friendships. Now it is all about ‘getting it’ or actually ‘friends with benefits’. And there is also a new word for it, ‘xxxx buddy’, rhymes with duck.

So is it all about getting what you want, when you want it. Is a happy ending the end of desire, or the beginning of happiness? Or is happiness a state of mind. Are happiness and comfort the same? Or are we choosing what we feel and how we want to feel? Are we aware of our feelings? Or are we dependent on physical attributes. Physical versus emotional, where would our happiness lie? Or does happiness lie? What is the truth?

And yes the film has a happy ending, in more ways than one. Leave your brains out…

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Rape.

Why do men do it? Don’t they know they came from a woman? Don’t they have a mother or sisters? What is it that drives men to pounce on women? Anyway I’m not interested in knowing the reasons from the men. What I am interested is in punishment for these low life curs. And that is insulting to the dogs.

The rape and death of Nirbhaya is a blot on our souls. A blot on the Indian Constitution. A terrible blot on all the women in power in the New Delhi. India is now the nation where girls are neither safe inside the womb nor outside. And then there are prayers to the goddesses. What a sham!

I am serious about rape. Physical assault is a heinous crime. And in my exalted humble opinion the Muslim countries got the punishment right. Immediate death to the B@$t@rds. The so-called ‘educated’ countries dilly dally on the punishment for so long that it is not deterrent enough for the crime.

My ideal punishment would be to castrate these men. Publish their pictures, and of their families and socially ostracize them. And I think now the ideal punishment should be castration of the criminal PLUS another from their family, an immediate male blood relative.

Abuse lasts. It messes up your mind. It makes you doubt your capabilities. And even 40 years later you are scarred.

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Live a life!

A decade ago, I was at a large IT company. At increment time, one section decides to give a raise to everyone, except two girls; the reasoning- “you are South Bombay girls, you two are single, you don’t need the money.” Such is the respect that we, as independent career women, get in the market place.

Another place I worked at, had the men intimidated by our knowledge and professionalism, and that we can handle just about anything under stress. So we got pulled up because the photographs of an outdoor event were too bright and sharp, because the frigging Indian summer sun is too bright and sharp, you dumbhead, and I am not a photographer who knows how to control these things!

It is always said that the boss makes the company, and people stay in or leave their jobs not merely for the money, but because of the immediate supervisor.

So when a friend has his boss tell him that he “had more money than he could spend’, it raises old issues. What gives a boss the right to abuse? This borders on harassment. India has no laws, or dormant laws, to counteract harassment. If any legal action was to be taken, it would take years.

Another very close person I know, has gone grey because of the incompetency of his new boss. An international respected company; (in the Forbes Top 5 global companies worldwide) his new boss does not know her products and makes a fool of herself at meetings, and this chap faces the brunt, on the bottomline. She is a scathing proof of women who sleep to get ahead, in some Indian companies. Though she is pulled up by the international counterparts, one leg in the east and the other in the west can take you only so far! I am ashamed of women like this!

So what gives the bosses the right to cast aspersions on your integrity and knowledge? You have earned the right to be counted as a professional; you have spent years, not to mention money, on education. Is it just the insecurities of the immediate superiors? One company thought I was buying out the company! Ill mannered and uncouth, is it just the egos at play?

Secondly what is HR doing? Most HR departments assume their job stops at the hiring stage. Most HR personnel are themselves incompetent. Most HR are subdued by the owner/superior/supervisor. What suffers at the end is the name of the company, and the employee morale.

Sometimes, we as employees shut up and suck it because we need the money. But at what cost. Isn’t health more important? Leave the b@$t@rd$ and get on with life!

Life is for the living! Live it. Let Karma do the rest. And she does! Send out positive thoughts to the Universe.

Love and light on all!

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Permission or Informing

A friend of mine recently told me of a group of her friends, living in the far northern suburbs of Mumbai, who needed permission from their spouses or in-laws to catch-up with other friends. Even over a coffee.

Both of us, very independent, liberal, maybe mild feminist to a certain extent, were shocked and appalled at this situation. We ‘inform’. We don’t ask for ‘permission’. Our activities are known by our families, there is nothing to ‘hide’. Nothing to ‘ask permission’ for.

I recounted this tale to another close friend of mine. Male. living in the western suburbs, educated, and I thought liberal enough. And his opinion was ‘yes women need to ask permission’. He wouldn’t let his wife, if/when he married, do things without his permission. Even a chance meeting over a coffee. He says women need to be subjugated. ‘God’ made women to be subjugated! And men to ‘rule’ over them!

I definitely don’t agree! First of all, there is no ‘god’ in the biological evolutionary process. Secondly, there are some things one does not need to ask ‘permission’. Informing should be enough. It is not like the women are taking off and neglecting their families! I think a woman is programmed enough about her responsibilities from the very early years. Is this the age of enlightenment or what? I am open to accepting that this trend of thought would be common in certain ethnic communities, but a Catholic with this point of view, in this age, is simply disturbing.

Sometimes, I don’t understand humanity. Or maybe I don’t understand men! You think you know them, but in the end, they are no better than the Taliban. Should have seen the signs. Some days back, he had said that maybe one day, he could be arrested for ‘domestic brutality’, and wanted a wife who could conform to him and his family; and would make his wife ‘listen’ to him. I pity the lady!

And here I was who always thought that a woman is a woman’s worst enemy. But never underestimate the mitigating forces of Men!

There is a line in the movie, “Fiddler on the Roof”, which goes – it is easier to ask for forgiveness, than permission.

What is your opinion?

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International politics

Please help me understand. The US thinks Bin Laden in is Afghanistan, so they bomb the country. Afghanistan. Shattered beyond hope by the US military. Then years later he is, as all know, cloistered in Pakistan. So they go after him there. And capture and kill him. Ofcourse leaving the country, Pakistan, unblemished. Blemished though she is. No one thinks that justice is impaled.

Now Rana, the brains behind the 26/11 siege of Bombay, is let off scot free. And our politicians do nothing. Can do nothing. Want to do nothing. Kasab of course, is treated like royalty in India. I am surprised no one has tied a rakhi to him as yet!

So what is international politics? Is India just a pawn? Is Pakistan a golden goose – for the Americans she is – that she is treated like royalty? Why is India silent and subservient?
Somebody please help me understand international politics?

Our politicians are only busy garnering wealth and lining their pockets. Politics be damned.

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Mile Sur Mera Tumhara.. revisited

Mile Sur Mera Tumhara was first aired on TV, in the Doordarshan age. It was to showcase national pride and integrity. Sung by stalwarts in the music industry, it was sublime and gave a warm feeling.

Part Two, Phir Mile Sur was IMHO too long.. it meandered and dragged. And then it  had no cricket star! Did I see right! I was shocked! This is my India, Cricket is religion! (and religion is pollution, but I digress). Sachin Tendulkar is GOD! No cricketeer? Just how can that be! Is India out of the cricket euphoria? That is blasphemy! :)

Then the second version was aired. It has Sachin in a 360 deg frame… All is well!

But I must add in this 2010 version of the song, the sequence of the Armed Forces at the end always, always moves me to tears! I am emotinally overcome even as I write this! I am so very proud of my country, (warts and all). This is my land! My Country, My India. My Mumbai. Even though I like to alliterate that I am born, bred, and buttered in Bombay!

God save the land! Jai Hind! Jai Ho!

for more understanding on the song –  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mile_sur_mera_tumhara

the original version – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gstRrEmTcBc

the new version –  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCFSydoFnpg

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