Posts tagged No

Permission or Informing

A friend of mine recently told me of a group of her friends, living in the far northern suburbs of Mumbai, who needed permission from their spouses or in-laws to catch-up with other friends. Even over a coffee.

Both of us, very independent, liberal, maybe mild feminist to a certain extent, were shocked and appalled at this situation. We ‘inform’. We don’t ask for ‘permission’. Our activities are known by our families, there is nothing to ‘hide’. Nothing to ‘ask permission’ for.

I recounted this tale to another close friend of mine. Male. living in the western suburbs, educated, and I thought liberal enough. And his opinion was ‘yes women need to ask permission’. He wouldn’t let his wife, if/when he married, do things without his permission. Even a chance meeting over a coffee. He says women need to be subjugated. ‘God’ made women to be subjugated! And men to ‘rule’ over them!

I definitely don’t agree! First of all, there is no ‘god’ in the biological evolutionary process. Secondly, there are some things one does not need to ask ‘permission’. Informing should be enough. It is not like the women are taking off and neglecting their families! I think a woman is programmed enough about her responsibilities from the very early years. Is this the age of enlightenment or what? I am open to accepting that this trend of thought would be common in certain ethnic communities, but a Catholic with this point of view, in this age, is simply disturbing.

Sometimes, I don’t understand humanity. Or maybe I don’t understand men! You think you know them, but in the end, they are no better than the Taliban. Should have seen the signs. Some days back, he had said that maybe one day, he could be arrested for ‘domestic brutality’, and wanted a wife who could conform to him and his family; and would make his wife ‘listen’ to him. I pity the lady!

And here I was who always thought that a woman is a woman’s worst enemy. But never underestimate the mitigating forces of Men!

There is a line in the movie, “Fiddler on the Roof”, which goes – it is easier to ask for forgiveness, than permission.

What is your opinion?

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