Posts tagged sexy

Live a life!

A decade ago, I was at a large IT company. At increment time, one section decides to give a raise to everyone, except two girls; the reasoning- “you are South Bombay girls, you two are single, you don’t need the money.” Such is the respect that we, as independent career women, get in the market place.

Another place I worked at, had the men intimidated by our knowledge and professionalism, and that we can handle just about anything under stress. So we got pulled up because the photographs of an outdoor event were too bright and sharp, because the frigging Indian summer sun is too bright and sharp, you dumbhead, and I am not a photographer who knows how to control these things!

It is always said that the boss makes the company, and people stay in or leave their jobs not merely for the money, but because of the immediate supervisor.

So when a friend has his boss tell him that he “had more money than he could spend’, it raises old issues. What gives a boss the right to abuse? This borders on harassment. India has no laws, or dormant laws, to counteract harassment. If any legal action was to be taken, it would take years.

Another very close person I know, has gone grey because of the incompetency of his new boss. An international respected company; (in the Forbes Top 5 global companies worldwide) his new boss does not know her products and makes a fool of herself at meetings, and this chap faces the brunt, on the bottomline. She is a scathing proof of women who sleep to get ahead, in some Indian companies. Though she is pulled up by the international counterparts, one leg in the east and the other in the west can take you only so far! I am ashamed of women like this!

So what gives the bosses the right to cast aspersions on your integrity and knowledge? You have earned the right to be counted as a professional; you have spent years, not to mention money, on education. Is it just the insecurities of the immediate superiors? One company thought I was buying out the company! Ill mannered and uncouth, is it just the egos at play?

Secondly what is HR doing? Most HR departments assume their job stops at the hiring stage. Most HR personnel are themselves incompetent. Most HR are subdued by the owner/superior/supervisor. What suffers at the end is the name of the company, and the employee morale.

Sometimes, we as employees shut up and suck it because we need the money. But at what cost. Isn’t health more important? Leave the b@$t@rd$ and get on with life!

Life is for the living! Live it. Let Karma do the rest. And she does! Send out positive thoughts to the Universe.

Love and light on all!

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Permission or Informing

A friend of mine recently told me of a group of her friends, living in the far northern suburbs of Mumbai, who needed permission from their spouses or in-laws to catch-up with other friends. Even over a coffee.

Both of us, very independent, liberal, maybe mild feminist to a certain extent, were shocked and appalled at this situation. We ‘inform’. We don’t ask for ‘permission’. Our activities are known by our families, there is nothing to ‘hide’. Nothing to ‘ask permission’ for.

I recounted this tale to another close friend of mine. Male. living in the western suburbs, educated, and I thought liberal enough. And his opinion was ‘yes women need to ask permission’. He wouldn’t let his wife, if/when he married, do things without his permission. Even a chance meeting over a coffee. He says women need to be subjugated. ‘God’ made women to be subjugated! And men to ‘rule’ over them!

I definitely don’t agree! First of all, there is no ‘god’ in the biological evolutionary process. Secondly, there are some things one does not need to ask ‘permission’. Informing should be enough. It is not like the women are taking off and neglecting their families! I think a woman is programmed enough about her responsibilities from the very early years. Is this the age of enlightenment or what? I am open to accepting that this trend of thought would be common in certain ethnic communities, but a Catholic with this point of view, in this age, is simply disturbing.

Sometimes, I don’t understand humanity. Or maybe I don’t understand men! You think you know them, but in the end, they are no better than the Taliban. Should have seen the signs. Some days back, he had said that maybe one day, he could be arrested for ‘domestic brutality’, and wanted a wife who could conform to him and his family; and would make his wife ‘listen’ to him. I pity the lady!

And here I was who always thought that a woman is a woman’s worst enemy. But never underestimate the mitigating forces of Men!

There is a line in the movie, “Fiddler on the Roof”, which goes – it is easier to ask for forgiveness, than permission.

What is your opinion?

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Sign of the Times

Those who know me know that I am not a chick-flick girl; but that does not mean I don’t watch chick-flicks. I recently saw Friends with Benefits, Mila Kunis, Justin Timberlake – a really feel-good movie. Mila Kunis is warm, exciting, sexy, and so unlike her earlier work where she usually plays the bitchy femme. JT is the quintessential chocolate boy hero with normal ‘boy’ insecurities which men love to hope they hide.  What I loved about the movie is that it depicts the insecurities, and it is all too real. It shows people and their vulnerabilities.

And the most poignant part is when Mila Kunis’s character walks out of a holiday weekend with JT’s family, when she overhears him bad-mouthing her to his sister.  When you sleep with someone, even as ‘friends’ the least you can do is have their back. This is the point which is the true test of a movie – the ability to identify with it. You know it is all too real.

The Backup Plan is another strong movie that symbolises our times. Jennifer Lopez in the movie, gets artificially inseminated only to meet her ‘soul mate’ that very day. The movie goes through the travails of a relationship and pregnancy.

Both movies have a strong female protagonist and depict men with insecurities, sometimes couching them with irresponsible words, but winning over and seeing the truth. Both movies are relevant in as much they bring out the flavour of the 21st century. Both movies are worth a watch.

Someone said Vicky Christina Barcelona was autobiographical then FWB is so totally autobiographical, of course without the happy ending.

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Whale or Mermaid?

Got this as an email sometime back…

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tanned woman appeared in the window of a gym.

It said: DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE??

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia .

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don’t exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don’t have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends.

With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes outto the rest of our bodies.

So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, “Good gosh, look how smart I am.”

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